My night nurse, Hope, was my angel in my darkest hour. To understand how she helped me, I need to share my story.

I was in for colon resection surgery, and my anticipated two-night stay turned into seven due to complications. We could not get my digestive system started again, and 3 days post-surgery, they decided to place an NG tube to pump out anything that might be stopping progress.

I want you to understand that what some patients dislike but tolerate can feel like a medieval torture treatment to others. I am a petite-framed woman with fine, small features, including tiny nostrils. I am also claustrophobic and have a high gag reflex.

When they told me about needing to place the NG tube up my nose and down my throat, I was horrified. I had already had a bad experience with this after thyroid removal surgery, when a doctor did that for a short amount of time to look at my damaged vocal cords. This time, the tube remained in place for twenty-four hours.

Twenty-four hours of pain and torture. There was no peace, no respite. There wasn’t a minute I didn’t need to have it out of my body. I could stand no movement, no outside stimulation. I wanted to leave my body. Frankly, I had some very dark thoughts, completely uncharacteristic for me, during those 24 excruciating hours.

Some of your staff simply didn’t understand my reaction to the NG tube and wanted to demand things from me that I had no bandwidth to deal with, so long as that tube was in me. They were afraid of pneumonia, but lecturing me to do my breathing exercises after I said “I can't, not while this tube is in,” only further heightened my already high anxiety.

While the NG tube was in place, I was turning away from routine vital checks. I could stand no further handling; it was all I could do to remain sane.  Hope found just the right beautiful words to say to me, so I allowed her, and only her, to check my vitals.

When I started throwing up with the tube in place, it induced full-fledged panic in me. She shared how to trick my brain into calming down by using a wet washcloth on my forehead and neck.

She walked with me towards the end of her shift, and she instinctively knew I didn’t want to encounter anyone else. It was nicer while the hallways were still dark, which helped my high anxiety.

When she realized another reason I was reticent to walk was that I was afraid of running out of energy far from my room, she asked my companion to walk behind us with the wheelchair.

I learned I could not swallow pain pills while the tube was in place, and since IV pain medication can cause constipation, I simply went without. I got very behind on handling my post-surgical pain and the intense pain caused by the tube itself. When Hope realized my pain was going unmedicated due to the tube, she crushed my pain pills so I could swallow them. No one else had suggested that.

For every problem, Hope found a solution. And never has someone been more aptly named. Through that horrible time, she gave me the hope that I desperately needed. I feel my words here don’t do Hope justice; she truly has a calling for her profession and reaches people where they are.

This was the darkest 24 hours of my entire life, and that is saying something, because I have seen pain and hard times. I have a cancer fight ahead of me, but I feel certain that it cannot be worse than the NG tube.

Your hospital has many fine nurses, but Hope stands head and shoulders above the rest. I call her my Angel Hope, who rendered aid to me with such kindness and compassion. She truly deserves to be recognized for the outstanding, caring, compassionate, and professional nurse that she is.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to express my intense gratitude to my Angel Hope.