How do you say "thank you" to someone who changed your life? It hardly sounds enough. When I say this out loud I know it is not enough. She changed my life forever, she is an angel, she is a nurse.
Let me start by saying I am a nurse as well, I know and understand our jobs. I know the demands and the thankless shifts, the long hours away from family, the emotional toll it takes to do our job. I know this very well. It all changes when a nurse becomes the patient. When the roles are reversed and you are lying in a hospital bed inspecting and dissecting everything that is happening to you and your care. This is a different perspective and for me it was the very first time.
I met Amy Pittman. She met with my husband and me one night for dinner to plan our daughters birth. From the first conversation, I had with her on the phone to our dinner that night I knew how important her role would be in our birth plan but what I didn't know is how she would change my life.
My daughter had Trisomy 13, a diagnosis that is not compatible with life. We confirmed this diagnosis very early in pregnancy and became very concerned with our birth experience from that point on. In the back of my mind I always wanted to switch to Northiside Hospital in Atlanta, they have a perinatal loss program. They have a special group of healthcare providers and ancillary staff that are dedicated to ensuring everything involving the birth of a fragile baby goes according to the parents' wishes. For several reasons, we did not switch and my heart was never at rest about this decision. One of my greatest fears was walking into Kennestone Labor and Delivery and saying "I'm in labor and oh by the way my baby has Trisomy 13 and will likely only live a short while." I, as a healthcare provider, would also add "…and make sure you do everything right…"
All these feelings and fears were eased when we met Amy for dinner that night. She and another nurse, Cathy Jones, have been working on starting a perinatal loss program at Kennestone. My heart could rest, here was someone who vowed to be with our family through every step. We met Amy on July 5th, baby was due September 24th, but she was born July 18th.
During our meeting with Amy that night we discussed developing a birth plan, a piece of paper that laid out all our wishes and desires for the process of delivering our baby girl. Every detail from who we wanted in our room to what medical care we wanted for her would be set before we even stepped foot into the hospital. We would meet with the obstetricians, anesthesiologists, nurses and neonatologists. We would have a plan.
As God would have it we did not, our baby passed away quietly somewhere between the evening of Saturday July 16th to the early morning of Sunday July 17th. I went to work on Sunday and did an ultrasound and confirmed our worst fear. While there was no guarantee of her making it to term and being born alive, I was thirty weeks pregnant. We thought we had made it so far that my pregnancy would continue to progress and she would be born alive. We thought we had more time.
I texted Amy that afternoon and told her the news, she said she would be there waiting for us when we arrived to the third floor.
What? My heart was so overwhelmed with emotions but this put my husband and me at such peace. Knowing she would be there for us, to see a familiar face, to have someone by our sides that we entrusted all this with.
And she was there…waiting on us. She greeted us with a warm embrace and walked us directly to our room. She was there. My aching heart felt so much comfort in just having her at my bedside. She was there. She didn't have to be; she wasn't working that day. She has a family and a life of her own but she was there for us. From that moment on she was there until we delivered our daughter, she was there like an angel. She was an answer to our prayers.
What Amy did for us during that time was watch over us as an angel would. She was perfect and instrumental in ensuring our family's needs were met and that our baby made it safely into this world.
On Sunday evening, she stayed by our side, she wore street clothes and acted as our advocate not our nurse. She was there when Dr. B checked my cervix to find it was 70% effaced. She was there when Dr. B administered Cervidil. She was there when my best friends arrived and when my family came to visit. She left to get us dinner, we wanted sushi, she brought it to us. We did not ask her to do this, she was there to serve us and fulfill our needs. She finally left us late that night and said she would be there early in the morning to check on us and we were instructed to text her or call her if there were any changes.
She was there in the early morning to see us. She was there when Dr. K and Dr. B came in to check on me. That Monday was a busy day on their unit. The nurses were busy I could tell. Throughout the day we had several nurses come in our room to assist us because our nurse kept getting pulled away to other patients. The nurse administered Cytotec in the afternoon and a few hours later I began to bleed and cramp. I was in the bathroom and told my husband to find the nurse and he came back with Amy. She was always there when we needed someone. That was so amazing to me, our nurse was not immediately available but Amy always was.
Amy assisted me back to bed and I began having increasingly painful contractions. Dr. K came to check my cervix and I was dilated at three centimeters. We made the decision to start the epidural at that point and I was terrified. I was worried about my blood pressure dropping, worried about not being able to move the lower half of my body, worried about infection, bleeding, etc… I knew too much.
Amy was there, I remember telling her specifically not to let anything happen to me. She was so calm and so graceful. She was checking my blood pressure and heart rate constantly because I was concerned. The epidural was quick and painless and Amy talked me through the entire process.
Fast forward to that evening, Amy had left to let me rest after the epidural took effect. I continued to have several nurses checking on me during that day shift and at some point, I remember Amy walking back into my room in scrubs. She had her curls swept up, her green surgical scrubs on and still had her pearls she worse that day around her neck. She clocked in after talking with her manager because she insisted my care and delivery be one-on-one. This gave our family great comfort. I was most comfortable with Amy as my nurse and felt she was equipped to handle and care for baby and me no matter what happened.
Shortly before seven that evening I began to have abdominal pain and contractions on my left side. Amy was there, she was waiting on the night shift nurse to come and check my cervix because she suspected there was a change. The pain became intense and I was shaking. She asked my family to leave the room and put my head down. She checked me and I will never forget her saying in a very calm tone "Sara, she's right there…" At that moment I began to sob, I was not at all ready for that moment and nothing could have prepared me to be. Amy called Dr. K and she must have been there within five minutes. Amy held one of my legs, my husband the other and Dr. K sat at the end of the bed. I pushed maybe for ten minutes and Amy was there at my side the whole time. I wept in between each push, not knowing if I had the strength to continue on. Our daughter was delivered and placed directly on my chest. It was the sweetest moment of my life. I felt God's peace immediately. She was small and so frail at two pounds and four ounces. Amy was there to take photos of our family and helped us make clay molds of our daughter's feet and hands. She was always there.
Our daughter's birth was so precious, it was everything our hearts desired and Amy was absolutely instrumental in ensuring it was handled with care, grace and beauty. She was and will remain very dear to us. Our birth story includes one very special nurse that we could never possibly thank or appreciate enough. There are simply no words for her selfless acts as she was there to fulfill our every need and desire.
One small way to say thank you is to nominate her for this DAISY Award. She represents what nursing is all about, giving of your time, skills and your heart; humbly lending your care and your time to another patient/family without expecting or receiving anything in return.
When I look back and reflect at our journey with our daughter, I am grateful and peaceful. I would not change one moment. Our daughter is our light and she is our purpose. Amy is our angel.