I was 6 months pregnant when I got the call that my husband had collapsed on the golf course. Nothing in life prepares you for what to do, how to handle this, or who to contact. After getting to the hospital and once he was resuscitated, I was told he was headed upstairs to the MSICU. When I got to St. Joseph's the next day for visiting hours, I remember being so hesitant, unsure of what to do once I walked into the room - you only really have this idea in your head from shows/movies of what it's like when someone is in a coma but when it’s your husband, and you’re the visitor you feel lost.

I wasn't there long, and my husband's nurse walked in. She was gentle and spoke softly introducing herself and made me feel safe in that room although my world was upside down. After we had introduced ourselves, she started asking me about my husband, J. First, she what he liked to be called and from there on out she addressed him as J and spoke to him as a person, not as a patient. I loved that immediately. She then explained that she had just returned from maternity leave, and she had asked about my pregnancy thus far I felt that she was also sort of checking on me, which wasn't needed at all but I did appreciate it. I think once she even mentioned that it is important that I get as much sleep as I can and to continue eating and drinking water, she really does care about her patients AND their loved ones.

For the first week or so she helped me through more than I can really put into words; she explained everything that she did for my husband to me, walked me through each medicine, reaction, signal, and encouraged me to be the best advocate that I could be. And I have zero medical background, she was there for a lot of the doctor conversations, and I remember looking at her, and she would help them 'dumb' it down for me, because it was just so much at once. I know that patient advocacy is extremely important, but due to COVID, I was the only visitor, and it can be overwhelming; she would reassure me to ask the questions that I had and continue doing what I was doing.

Throughout the first week, while my husband was still in a coma, she encouraged me to talk to my husband, play music, and do as much as I could to stay positive and the best part was I truly felt that she was doing the same, she had conversations with him, made jokes, even went to the extent of "Ok J, just going to get your blood pressure quick" which may seem like nothing to most, but to me when my husband was in a coma it just showed how sincere of a person she was/is.

Once J started to come out of the coma, it was a tough couple weeks. I will say, everyone at St. Joseph's was amazing and the care he had was extraordinary, but she was adamant about checking in on ME and my wellbeing while also being a fantastic nurse on my husband's team. Cognitively, J had a significant amount of issues and had a hard time with memory, speech etc. She would continue to follow his lead each day, showing him pictures of his friends and family and talking to him softly so he felt comfortable, safe, and at ease, there were times when he would get frustrated and agitated, but she knew what to do and how to help.

While all of this was going on, there was the obvious insurance battle, rehab applications, and the question of what the rest of his/our lives will look like and what this means for me. She was very much involved with me in helping support me and my hardships as I wanted to be there for my husband, but I also needed to make the right decisions about his care. And not only did she support me, but she supported my (at the time) unborn child. It may be silly to some, but to a very-much-so pregnant woman who went from being unsure if her husband was going to live, to unsure if her husband was going to be her "husband", the support, care, and love that I felt from her for my husband and myself was unexplainable. I am eternally grateful that she was my husband's nurse; she will forever have a special place in my heart.