Deformities at birth. For many years they were special and unique to him, but as he grew up they became a source of self-consciousness, teasing, and anxiety. Our son bravely decided it was time to go forward with the procedure, so we set all of the things in motion. Our son is a one-of-a-kind kid who navigates the world through his unique lenses of Autism, ADHD, Anxiety, and Language Disorder. Setting this in motion was more than scheduling the date with the ENT department that we’d been visiting about this very day since his birth. For us, it means a Telehealth visit with the surgeon to ask 1,000 questions, arranging a tour and practice walk through the pre-op and surgery facility with the Child Life department, pairing up with Child Life and Galaxy, the magical Medical Dog for personal escorts into the hospital, bringing home bandages to practice with, ensuring an inpatient recovery for the critical post-surgical 48-hour window with the ever-so-uncomfortable pressure headband, arranging school absences, care for our other son, and so on. It was all worth it because our son was ready, and so were we.

We did what we thought was the hardest part that morning: kept our son motivated and distracted, doing our best to make sure he didn’t realize he was missing out on food and water leading up to our 1:00 pm time slot in the OR. The morning was filled with nurses, Anesthesiologists, ENTs, Child Life, and numerous kind and helpful and friendly hospital employees coming in and out to talk with us. Things were running just a few minutes behind, but we were all ready to go. And then, my son and his anxiety reached their max. Our son started to get nervous (in addition to tired and hungry) and decided to call it all off. In a burst of fear and frustration, our son ripped off our parent badges, his patient bracelet, his gown, and got dressed and ready to leave. He walked circles around the hospital team and the floor desperately trying to find an exit. He was in tears as Galaxy and a few grownups attempted to help him calm down through deep breaths, small talk, and any other distractions they could find. While all of this was happening in the pre-op room, I stood (or should I say crumbled on the floor) crying, fully knowing that if this procedure did not happen today after we’d come this far - we’d likely never be able to get our son back to this place of readiness. My husband stood still, likely grateful for the kind nurse, Patrick, who was making small talk with him to pass the time.

After some time had passed, Patrick asked my husband and me how our sons interact with other guys and wondered if he could take a shot at talking to him. We were quick to say, “Absolutely!” We told Patrick that our son is a kid surrounded by female therapists and teachers and loves it when he has the chance to interact with a cool grown-up guy. Patrick was cool, calm, collected, and most exciting - he had cool tattoos. We’re not sure what exactly Patrick said to our son when he cleared the post-op room and talked to him 1x1. We heard from others that it was something along the lines of “It’s time to do this, dude.” Looking back, I would have loved to be a fly on the wall in that room where my son was calm and talking without crying to one of the coolest nurses we’ve met. Our son and Patrick emerged. Our son ran to me with no tears, a huge hug, and looked ready to be brave and go forward. Patrick told us that our son was going to walk himself into the OR rather than roll in on a hospital bed. He was going to wear the clothes and shoes he came in, rather than the hospital gown. And he was going to get himself on the table and hold the anesthesia mask himself. All of that was exactly what happened, followed by a long-awaited, very successful procedure. Thanks to Patrick and his magic words and gentle demeanor, our son was able to put one foot in front of the other with confidence, enabling his ENT team to change his life by changing the shape of his ears. We are forever grateful and will always look back on this experience and Patrick fondly and with immense gratitude.