My wife and I always knew that we wanted to have children. We started our journey four years ago and have experienced a fairly rough process. We had three miscarriages, multiple IUI attempts, two IVF egg retrievals, and a transfer to get to a place where having a child was even possible. We completed our IVF journey with one viable embryo. Just one. This was our only chance. Because of this, we were fairly anxious throughout the entirety of her pregnancy. Every little thing that happened along that pregnancy path was potentially a devastating issue for us. So, as we came into L&D to begin our labor process, it was the culmination of a long and difficult journey. And it was also the most terrifying part of that process. We were nervous.
We both want to say that the entire L&D team is absolutely phenomenal. We felt safe, cared for, and in good hands the entire time we were there. Sonia Safarpour stood out to us for a particular reason, though. She was there with us for the last parts of labor and was who she was. For the majority of my wife pushing through labor, it was her, Sonia, and myself in that delivery room. Sonia immediately and seamlessly matched our energy. It was clear that she had done this before, and she knew what she was doing. That helped ease the stress. She effectively guided my wife and me through what we needed to do without any issues. The stress eased more. And the fact that she met us where we were and was on our level is what ultimately put us at ease. We had not experienced a carefree attitude about pregnancy or having a baby for literally years. We knew we were in good hands.
This was my wife's first labor experience. Sonia asked me if I wanted to be involved in the process. I could get a mirror if I wanted to look at the baby as it was born. My response was, "Nope, nope, nope. I'll be happy right up here by her head being in a support role." Sonia shook her head understandingly and prepared my wife for what would happen. Then Sonia realized there were no stirrups on our table. My wife's contractions were coming strong at this point, and there was no time to delay. Sonia looked at me kindly, and I knew what was about to happen. The way she told me, "I need you to be a stirrup, and I need you to count as the contractions are happening. Here's what we're going to do", will always be in my mind. I went from absolutely under no circumstances did I want to be involved to having a front-row seat to the entire show. Sonia's kind demeanor and quiet confidence made me comfortable with this massive change in what I thought my role was going to be.
My wife's role was obviously a bit more involved, no matter how she felt about it. She was horrified, anticipating the process. However, because of Sonia, she ended up completely at ease. The three of us were singing along or swaying to the rhythm of music. It was fitting the first song we listened to was Three Little Birds by Bob Marley. There were the three of us; surprisingly, my wife and I were not worrying about anything. We embraced the moment. We were cracking jokes and just enjoying the entire situation. On two occasions, my wife actually laughed while pushing through her contractions because of Sonia. That was not something I could have ever imagined. Sonia was exactly who we needed at that moment. It was the most beautiful snapshot of time we will carry forever. After about an hour of pushing, our daughter was finally born. Sonia encouraged my wife as I was shocked to see my child for the first time. I couldn't have asked for anything more magical. Then, things shifted drastically...
There was concern about my kid's O2 levels, so the neonatal nurse and I took her over to the station to check her out. After a few minutes, everything was good with the little one, and I heard a little movement behind me in my wife's direction. At that moment, our beautiful, special, serene experience had changed. I saw blood. A lot of blood. I also watched as our incredible doctor and nurses started trying to stop the bleeding. Sonia was, of course, in the middle of things. We understand that this is something medical teams deal with regularly. Seeing a problem and fixing it is essentially the core of the job. I am not a medical professional. I had never seen so much blood in my life, and I could clearly see, as I was holding my minute-old daughter, it was pouring out of my wife... I was absolutely in shock. And so was my wife. She kept saying, "I'm going to die. If I close my eyes, I'm going to die." And I looked at my daughter and said aloud, "It may just be you and me, honey." Then I heard Sonia's voice. I looked up, and she was right at my wife's side, telling her that she would not die and all of the reasons why she wouldn't die. And the conviction she had made me believe that was the case. My wife lost around 2L's of blood. Things could have gone a horrible route. But everyone in that room's experience and attention to detail held things together. Again, I know this is what medical teams do. But I was in awe. And right there, keeping my wife focused and alert, was Sonia.
The next couple of nights we spent in recovery were hard. My wife had to have a blood transfusion, but the three of us were safe and healthy, as could be expected. The highlight of our stay on the other side of the birthing center was Sonia taking the time out of her day to come visit us. Her willingness to take that moment to process with us, to explain how she was impacted, and to allow us to express how we were impacted meant the world to us. As I said, we are not medical professionals but behavioral and mental health professionals. Her willingness to speak with us gave us a massive head start on the work we need to do on ourselves to deal with the impact of how that night turned out.
Sonia is a classic example of not just an excellent and skilled nurse but also an incredible, caring, compassionate, intelligent human being who is a wonderful and experienced nurse. She should be the gold standard for how nurses treat patients as they work with them. I know these things about Sonia personally because of one reason. We got to experience her in literally the best of times. And when things turned to our worst of times, she was the same person with the same approach. We will never forget Sonia.