Now that I am feeling significantly better and can actually sit up and compose a proper letter that will do Linnie Wray RN from 3West at Miriam the justice that she deserves, I am going to.
I have known Linnie for a little while now considering I have been a patient at Miriam several times. I have had a really hard time over the last four and a half years, spending most of that time in medical hospitals, psychological hospitals, and treatment centers. Because of my medical and psychological state, I have encountered millions of nurses. I have found that each and every one of them is different in their own special ways, which makes me incredibly grateful and feel so lucky to be blessed with such compassionate people.
Linnie, however, is special in many more ways than the average nurse that you come across. On the nomination sheet that I just picked up at the desk, it says check all criteria that apply. After being in hospitals and treatment centers so frequently, I can easily say that I could definitely check off several for each of the nurses that have touched my life. For Linnie, I can check off every single one of them and emphasize how much she excels in each category. That is one of the things that I have decided to do in this letter.
The C.A.R.E. acronym:
Compassion -
Linnie is always caring, compassionate, empathetic, gentle, and so much more. I think what I like best is how she approaches this situation. She always has an upbeat, positive attitude, yet she can always find a way to relate to the tough time even if it's not directly her experience. For example, as a professional, you can't share too much about your outside life due to confidentiality purposes. Linnie shares to an extent where it isn't over-sharing, but makes me feel like I am not alone. For example, the reason why I am at Miriam so frequently is because my stomach and intestines don't cooperate as they should. It's rather frustrating and aggravating because I just want to live my life and move on from all of this. Linnie could tell that I was struggling, so she sat down on my bed. I've told her before about my lack of motivation to keep trying, yet for some reason I still do. When she noticed the familiar look of defeat on my face, she tried to talk me through it. She told me about her sister who is sick and struggles as I do. She shared some basic success stories, not going into too much detail, and it immediately lifted my spirits. It made me realize that yes, this is not the ideal path that I would like to be on, but I was put here for a reason.
Another example is, the other day, I was in excruciating pain. I could barely move on my own and I was not happy with what the doctors were suggesting. They were thinking that at this point the only option was surgery, which immediately sent me into tears after they departed the room. I didn't want anyone to realize that I had been crying, but since Linnie pays close attention to her patients, she knew something was up. It was the end of her shift and she could've been heading out after a long twelve-hour shift. Instead, she put her hand on my back and comforted me. I don't think she knew what to say in that situation (who would?!), but the fact that she sat and comforted me was the most helpful thing anyone could've done in that situation. I knew that despite what I was feeling and thinking that I had someone to talk to if I wanted to open up. I could tell by the look in her eyes that she genuinely cared. She wasn't just doing this to do it. Once again, the fact that someone cared was incredibly comforting and helpful, especially in this situation.
Accountability -
As previously stated, I have been around many nurses in different facilities. I always know when Linnie is my nurse, one press of the button will suffice. She is always willing to help her patients and put their needs before hers. I have a perfect example of this. Since I know Linnie well, I like to tease her and give her a hard time. Today, I was going to tease her, and she said something like, "Good thing you didn't because I am so hungry I would've jumped a mile!" I then told her to go grab a little snack or crackers or something, but she said, "I have too many important patients to take care of. I'll take care of my hunger on my lunch break." Something about that just seemed so sweet. I am a Christian, and one important message that Jesus teaches us is that we should put our brothers and sisters before ourselves. She was doing just that. She was being a giving person and taking accountability for her patients. Not to say that she referred to us as her "important patients." How many nurses are on the floor? She could've easily pulled one over and told them that she desperately needed a snack and asked them to give her ten minutes. Instead, the two of us went for a walk and she went on with what she needed to do with her other important patients. This shows a lot of dedication to not only her patients but her job as well.
Respect -
Linnie treats her patients like people, not like poor, sick things. Sometimes when people begin to pity me, it makes me feel worse psychologically. In my head I'm already fighting a battle containing these questions: Should I be mad that my body is doing this to me? Should I be sad that I am in this position again? Or, should I be grateful about where I am and have faith that God knows what the plan is. Looking at it on paper, the obvious answer is the third one. While fighting it in your brain, it doesn't stick out that much. When Linnie is my nurse, I know that the third answer is the correct answer because she never fails to put a smile on my face, tells me an inspirational story, or does something to show that I am in the place that I need to be. Would I rather be elsewhere than at the hospital? Yes, but I don't have that option, so I need to make the best of it. Another way that Linnie shows respect is that she is just so caring. I had been in the hospital for nearly a week, connected to TPN and my NG tube to suction plus I couldn't move due to the 9/10 pain level I was at. I was telling Linnie that I felt repulsive and that I wished that I could just jump in the shower and wash my hair. The next day, she showed up with a detangling brush and some dry shampoo, so I didn't have to sit in my own filth. I was so grateful and touched by this generous gesture. What full-time nurse finds time in their schedule to buy dry shampoo and a brush and clean their patient's hair on their break? Linnie does. If that doesn't show how much she respects her patients and wants them to have the best care, I honestly don't know what would. That was one of the greatest acts of kindness and she really acted like it was no big deal at all.
Excellence -
Linnie is an excellent nurse. I have had her as my nurse several times, and never once have I seen her perplexed or confused about a situation, which is rare due to the difference of my diagnoses. (Yes, she may question why it keeps happening, but so does everyone else!). Most have to consult with others about what needs to happen or what exactly my diagnoses actually are. To be honest, I've had several doctors have to look up what it/they are. Linnie, on the other hand, is very knowledgeable, up to speed, and ready to take on any case thrown at her. This is really motivating to me, and I hope it motivates her coworkers as well.
The reason why all of this is so important to me is that after my first year in the hospital, I completely lost hope. Before I was hospitalized, I was accepted to the Doctor of Physical Therapy programs with academic/athletic scholarships to each. After being hospitalized for so long, I knew that I wasn't going to be able to fulfill the dreams that I wanted to. Unfortunately, my mental state suffered, and I tried to kill myself a few times because I was so discouraged.
Then my perspective changed. I may never be a Division 1 Track runner in a Pediatric Doctor of Physical Therapy program in college, but after seeing how some nurses can change their patients' lives and impact them, I decided that was my calling. I want to become a pediatric psych nurse. I don't want to be any nurse, I want to be just like Linnie. I want to be the type of nurse who is comforting to her patients, the nurse who can make her patients smile, the nurse who can be there no matter how long ago I clocked out, the nurse who is generous and brings her patients that can't move dry shampoo and a brush to make them feel a little more put together, the nurse who genuinely loves and cares about her patients despite how challenging their case is, the nurse who is genuine, empathetic, and encourage them that this is just a different path and it is meant to be. I want to be like Linnie. If more nurses in this world were as fabulous as Linnie, the patients that would have to be in hospitals wouldn't have to be as anxious because they would feel confident that they are in good hands.
Linnie, thank you for the impact that you have made on my life and all of your patients' lives. I am so blessed that I got to know you. Thank you for being a role model to me and for being there for me no matter what. Don't you let anyone ever change the way that you do your job or even interact with people because you have an incredibly special talent. On behalf of all your patients that aren't capable of writing letters like this for you, thank you. You are very loved and appreciated!